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First Entry.. Welcome Whores!

Finally! The website is up and running so no more posting "blogs" on myspace. ALSO, I'll be updating this stuff everyday so you won't have to wait until Friday to get your daily dose of Aqua Humor every damn day :) Enjoy my pretties.



Let Me See Your Grill... or Not
A school district in Texas has expanded its dress codes to include mouths. Students may no longer wear mouth jewelry known as "grillz" - shiny teeth caps. Story





The Simple Life not Real?
No shit, I think they announced that during the FIRST season when Paree' said producers wanted her to have a boy-interest (remember Chops?) Anyway, I don't understand how they both can continue doing the simple life if they aren't BF 4 EV anymore!!

...and it's also been said that E! has renewed "The Simple Life" for a 6th season.. what else can they possibly do??? Me and Amber deserve our own show




Christina Milian and Jessica Simpson.. BFF?

Who knew that Christina Milian and Jessica Simpson were friends, I guess she's the token blackie. Apparently Jessica has enlisted a whole plethora of her friends (Christina Milian, Ryan Seacrest, Jessica Alba, Kelly Bundy *can't remember her name* Eva Longoria.)to shoot her next video called "A Public Affair" which also happens to be the first single off of her new album . The song is fun and catchy and the video will be full of rainbows, huggy bears and glittery unicorns, awww big HUGZ sistahs!!





Jamie Lynns Boyfriend
Who's Jamie Lynn you say? Well it's none other then Britney Spears kid sister of course!
She's dating the cute Abercrombie boys right now but in true Spears fashion, is saving her ovaries for some trailer park unemployed loser. You'll see [ thanks Maya :) ]




K-Fed and Shar plan to record duet

According to the report - a romantic duet is in the works with Kevin and Shar. The duo plan to record a newer version of Bobbi Brown’s hit "Get Away."

"kevin is even on planning on helping ms. jackson to record a song by
singing backup vocals! but he hasn't even told britney spears yet...the source
adds when she finds out, i think she'll go ballistic. when britney hears that
kevin is getting back together with shar for this song, i think it could be the
last straw for her what does kevin say about all this? so i'm gonna make a
record with shar. big deal. and shar adds...if kevin wants to make a record with
me, so what? If britney can't handle that, tough! - oh let the sparks fly...ms.
jackson even performed brit's song toxic at the joint in LA on march 21st!!! i
suspect she thinks kevin could coming running back to her if britney smartens up
and dumps his ass"



It's a CUT
BET's aired it's final episode of Uncut last weekend, I guess young prebuescent boys will have to find something else better to do on a Saturday night at 2am, because tugging one out to the many raunchy video's..has officially been erased off the agenda. BUT just because it's not on tv anymore you can catch all the "infamous" video's online at http://www.betuncut.net


I'm Nia LONG!
Nia Long joins the ranks of chicks who's boo's would actually fight over them!
The actress of "Boiler Room" and "Big Momma's House" fame and a mystery man
were on the streets of the hip shopping center when Long's ex, Massai Z. Dorsey,
ran into the pair. Apparently there's bad blood between the guys because a
street brawl broke out between Dorsey and Long's new guy, right in the middle of
the shopping center!Sources tell TMZ that the Long's guy friend kicked Long's
ex's butt - hands down - leaving him lying on the street as he and Long took off
running. As Long was running, she even lost her shoe- yet didn't seem to care.
She left the shoe behind and kept running!Long and Dorsey have a 5 year old son
together named Massai Zhivago Dorsey II.


Ray-J
Now I was about to have some words for Ray-J because he never seems to put "black beauties" in his videos.. then I noticed his junk and forgot whatever the hell I was gonna say. According to YBF this chick is his boo.Whatever





Pinks Pink Nipples
Kinda weird, Pink's mom watches as she gets her nipple pierced, another one of those mother-daughter relationships I"ll never understand


Maddox & Stalker
Sometimes.. and I mean JUST sometimes, I'm glad I'm not famous or my family isn't in the public eye. It's just sad what the pap's will do just to get a picture.


"Clint Brewer, 25, who was arrested last month at Maddox Jolie-Pitt's
Malibu daycare center after he was supposedly caught hiding in the bushes in
order to snap a picture of the famous four-year-old will not face charges, the
Los Angeles District Attorney's office confirmed Wednesday" Story


Tyrese.. a Rapper?
According to vibe magazine, Tyrese, or as I like to call him "Daaahkness" can flow. He even has the likes of Snoop, Game and Method Man co-signing on his skills. Who's next.. Ursher? Wait.. Ursher was wrecking on"Nice and Slow.. "They call me U-S-H-E-R -R-A... ya'll know the rest."


Hes really got it cracking to the point where he didnt seem like he was out of
his range. It seemed like something that he was naturally born to do, said Snoop
Dogg in a press release statement about Tyreses rhyming ability. Thats when I
welcomed him to the game, being the king of the West, you know what Im saying?
He got my blessing as far as from the rap style of it, the rap side of it. This
is one of the best albums Ive ever heard. Anybody who aint behind it, come see
me. read more here



Eddie Murphy & Mel B
Eddie Murphy has been rumored to be dating Mel B from my all-time favorite girl group "Spice Girls".. Didn't he just get divorced? I'm not gonna hate if he's hitting THIS




.. and you know we didn't forget the whole "tranny" incident back in '97. Very interesting story.. read here






Beyonce on Giant Cover Mag
Im so happy these are unconventional shots of Beyonce, because after awhile her poses start to look the same. click here to see more



.. and since we are on Beyonce, let me take the time to throw-out some more tidbits of info..

Rihanna vs. Beyonce
Everyone is saying that they look alike, ..hell the chick can't help that she looks like the baddest B* in the game, but I've noticed some similarities.. prime ex.1

The "hands in the pocket" walk.. not too many ppl. do that, secondly.. notice the shoes. They are the exact same sans the color.

Next.. Beyonces wardrobe.. this whole "coutour" thing isn't working for me.. Here was B on TRL debuting her new video De Ja Vu, and on 106 & Park



In the great words of Tristan: I really don't dig the african dance performance/interpretation/exhibition. That shit really blew ass! Unless you dance for a living or your even maybe an actual african who is part of a tribe, i don't wanna see fuckers imitating shit they don't know about. she looks like a complete buffoon.. Co sign.. and apparently we aren't the only ones who felt this way because there is a petition out demanding that Beyonce re-shoot the video for De Ja Vu. It's kinda funny.. fans are claiming that they get dizzy watching the damn video... check it out

here

Khia's XXL Mag. Interview
I haven't had the chance to cop the new XXL magazine with "Thug Misses" interview but I did have the chance to read some snippets.. Ghetto Misses also proclaims that she is the "Queen of the South".. Blah, she looks like she smells.


XXL: A lot of your songs are written from a feminist standpoint. But why do you
show more love to male rappers than to female rappers?Khia: Cause the female
rappers are horrible. They just men pleasers, rappin off of a piece of paper
bout what a man want them to say. A lot of females that are out you can tell
they have ghostwriters, cause what they sayin is pleasing to a mans ear. Okay,
you gon say, I want a bitch to straight lick the clit and you gon suck me and my
homeboys dick and Ima pay you.I dont represent that. I dont care what you got, I
can get my own. We cant let me pimp us and dog us [and] act like that shit is
cool, cause theres a generation of young ladies looking like this like this is
how its supposed to be.
XXL: Is that why you declined Trinas offer to
collaborate with her?Khia: Oh yes, Trina, uh, uh. I dont do her. I feel when you
look at Trina, you lookin at sex. Most of her fans are men that wanna fuck.
Every time you see Trina, she half-naked, or in her video she talking about
being a female pimp. At her shows, shes lap dancing and kissing girls. No female
fans dont wanna see that. Shes catering to what men wanna see. Shes just an
entertainer. When I look at her, I just see a whore. I dont want my daughter
being nothing like Trina.

Well.. I happen to like her new song "Snatch the Cat Back" it's funny.. If you haven't already peeped the video, check it out :)


Bow wow may retire
At only 19 years old, teen celebrity Bow Wow has revealed he might be quitting the hip-hop world to concentrate on a movie career. Bow Wow says his upcoming fifth album might be the last one and also the biggest album that he has ever done, considering also that his single, which features Chris Brown, could be the biggest record of his music career.Source

He'll be back....



Moesha and Neicy
Mo to-the- E to- the... and Neicy (Brandy and Shar Jackson) were once again reunited at the "Midsummers Night Dream Champion Celebration" and boy did it feel sooo good. Shar is stepping up her game lately, and Brandy.. well.. Brandy will always look like she just got done rubbing a pound of petroleum jelly on her face.







Flawless Eva Longoria
Sike.. here are some recent pic's of Eva Longoria without the make-up.. she looks like some sort of animal but I just can't put my finger on it



Paris Hilton Gives up Sex
According to Female First Paris Hilton is giving up sex for one whole year
She said: "I'm doing it just because I want to. I feel I'm becoming stronger as a person.
"Every time I have a boyfriend, I'm just so romantic, and I'll put all my energy into the guy, and I don't really pay attention to myself."

I hope she knows that taking it in the mouth, nose, ear and as is still considered sex



Real World Cast member charged
Paula (the anorexic drunk with nasty ass lesions all over her body) from Real World Key West was arrested and charged with assault after biting her boyfriend during another domestic dispute.
Remember he was an abusive boyfriend that she insisted still really does love her. Exemplified by the episode in which said boyfriend says hes sorry for hitting her by sending a care package of Cristal champagne.

Bitch was hungry.. is that such a crime


FLAVERRR FLAVVV
I must have sent out atleast fiddy text messages when I saw that "Flaver of Love 2" will debut Aug.6th on VH1. I'm sure we'll all be in for a treat this season although I don't see how there will ever be another "New York or Hottie". But hold up.. is that chick wearing UGGS??



... also Celebrity Fit Club with also debut the same night with an all new cast! 2 of my favorite shows on VH1



Carnie Wilson (Wilson-Phillips), Vinnie Pastore (The Sopranos), Angie Stone (R & B singer), Nick Tuturro (NYPD Blue), Erika Eleniak (Baywatch), Bonecrusher (rapper), Tina Yothers (Family Ties) and Ted Lange (Love Boat) will embark on their own grueling fitness journeys and fight together to reach their goals. It premieres right before Flavor of Love August 6th at 9.


I've always known Paris had a fat snatch thanks to many late nights watching "A Night in Paris" and her "Stars are Blind" video. I wouldn't know what to classify this as? Is it a camel-toe or what?!


....and since I know most of ya'll are reading this blog from either school/work/church I won't post the "close-up" picture. Click here to see it!

Grade A M.I.L.F
THERE HERE! Stacey Dash's Playboy photos..Must I remind you this chick is 40 and has a son in College.
Courtesy of SOHH.Com. Go check out the rest of the pics here


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